

family: the reason why we all make sacrifices...i can't explain how hard it was to have something so prominent in your life for 4 long years to just be completely out of your life one day. as i was riding my bike with tyler in the trailer last week i spent 2 hours in the fresh, cool air reflecting on the last 4 years of life. this is what came to mind: way back before i was married, before i had my own children i taught a class to children of divorce on how to manage their grieving process relating to the divorce. we taught that the first stage of grief was denial -and once you got through denial you moved on to anger - after anger was acceptance and renewal. you also never knew how long each stage would last before you got to the next and most importantly was that none of these stages was your fault, it was natural.
while thinking about this process i realized that i had been grieving the selling of my company. it started with the denial, just plain ignoring the fact that i was doing it. then a long period of anger or grouchiness that i had done it....probably related to the fact that i felt a bit of failure for not being able to manage and balance a huge company and my family at the same time. i think i'm somewhere in between anger and acceptance right now...a little lost in what to do with my creative energies and all of my free time. let me also mention that throughout this whole process i have never regretted selling the company - it has just been a very hard process. i knew deep in my heart that it wasn't good for me anymore or my family, everyone was suffering.having said this i have also been contemplating how something so innocent becomes so huge and then what happens when it isn't really fun anymore. i read this post by melody ross, founder of chatterbox {a pioneer in the scrapbooking industry} and couldn't have related more. it all of a sudden made so much sense...you have an experience, come full circle, just to realize you have reached the beginning. a scary thought i must say, but it had some really deep meaning. i had gone through the last 4 years of really hard work mentally and physically demanding. an experience that has taught me so much about myself, including my faults as well as my talents, shown me boundaries in personal and professional life. most of all giving me the confidance to know that i can do anything i set my mind to and that i tend to be an overachiever when i want something and can see the 'vision'. the flip side of this is how does something that started on the kitchen table for some extra fun money slowly creep into your life and become something of a disease that takes over your family and personality? so here we are at the beginning - cleansing the soul - a fresh start - repairing the damage and deciding which road to take.
i can't wait to introduce my new etsy shop! you can find it by clicking here. I was going to wait to share the news until i had the store stocked with fun stuff, but wanted to go ahead and start playing with the design and uploading items. My hope is to design a few of my own quilts and post finished quilts and cut kits. As well as some handmade scrapbook / card items and kits. So, go ahead and get yourself familiar and check back often.
one of our 'many' boats along the way - this one was for racing...


would share. I have since made a couple other versions using an older stamp set! This card was mulit-dimensional and we got the idea from http://www.beate.blogs.splitcoaststampers.com/ - she has a great website and gallery with tons of ideas!the cards at the bottom are done with paper from last years catalog that i had leftover and an older stamp set! I embossed the green santa and then colored the other one with ink and an aqua painter!

